Once upon a time there was a boy with his Bravery of Wisdom called Gesse Kezeis. He was on the way to see his Master Kitz Wills, when he decided to take a short cut through Pa'a Lu Small River.
It wasn't long before Gesse got lost. He looked around, but all he could see were trees. Nervously, he felt into his bag for his favourite toy, Zec The Eagle, but Zec The Eagle was nowhere to be found! Gesse began to panic. He felt sure he had packed Zec The Eagle. To make matters worse, he was starting to feel hungry.
Unexpectedly, he saw a Big And Scary tiger dressed in an Oren And Black coat disappearing into the trees.
"How odd!" thought Gesse.
For the want of anything better to do, he decided to follow the peculiarly dressed tiger. Perhaps it could tell him the way out of the forest.
Eventually, Gesse reached a clearing. He found himself surrounded by houses made from different sorts of food. There was a house made from sweet potatoes, a house made from pizzas, a house made from chocolates and a house made from crisps.
Gesse could feel his tummy rumbling. Looking at the houses did nothing to ease his hunger.
"Hello!" he called. "Is anybody there?"
Nobody replied.
Gesse looked at the roof on the closest house and wondered if it would be rude to eat somebody else's chimney. Obviously it would be impolite to eat a whole house, but perhaps it would be considered acceptable to nibble the odd fixture or lick the odd fitting, in a time of need.
A cackle broke through the air, giving Gesse a fright. A witch jumped into the space in front of the houses. She was carrying a cage. In that cage was Zec The Eagle!
"Zec The Eagle!" shouted Gesse. He turned to the witch. "That's my toy!"
The witch just shrugged.
"Give Zec The Eagle back!" cried Gesse.
"Not on your nelly!" said the witch.
"At least let Zec The Eagle out of that cage!"
Before she could reply, three Big And Scary tigers rushed in from a footpath on the other side of the clearing. Gesse recognised the one in the Oren And Black coat that he'd seen earlier. The witch seemed to recognise him too.
"Hello Big Tiger," said the witch.
"Good morning." The tiger noticed Zec The Eagle. "Who is this?"
"That's Zec The Eagle," explained the witch.
"Ooh! Zec The Eagle would look lovely in my house. Give it to me!" demanded the tiger.
The witch shook her head. "Zec The Eagle is staying with me."
"Um... Excuse me..." Gesse interrupted. "Zec The Eagle lives with me! And not in a cage!"
Big Tiger ignored him. "Is there nothing you'll trade?" he asked the witch.
The witch thought for a moment, then said, "I do like to be entertained. I'll release him to anybody who can eat a whole front door."
Big Tiger looked at the house made from crisps and said, "No problem, I could eat an entire house made from crisps if I wanted to."
"That's nothing," said the next tiger. "I could eat two houses."
"There's no need to show off," said the witch. Just eat one front door and I'll let you have Zec The Eagle."
Gesse watched, feeling very worried. He didn't want the witch to give Zec The Eagle to Big Tiger. He didn't think Zec The Eagle would like living with a Big And Scary tiger, away from his house and all his other toys.
The other two tigers watched while Big Tiger put on his bib and withdrew a knife and fork from his pocket.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Big Tiger. "Just you watch"
Big Tiger pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from pizzas. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
Eventually, Big Tiger started to get bigger - just a little bit bigger at first. But after a few more fork-fulls of pizzas, he grew to the size of a large snowball - and he was every bit as round.
"Erm... I don't feel too good," said Big Tiger.
Suddenly, he started to roll. He'd grown so round that he could no longer balance!
"Help!" he cried, as he rolled off down a slope into the forest.
Big Tiger never finished eating the front door made from pizzas and Zec The Eagle remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Average Tiger stepped up, and approached the house made from chocolates.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Average Tiger. "Just you watch!"
Average Tiger pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from chocolates. She gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
After a while, Average Tiger started to look a little queasy. She grew greener...
...and greener.
A woodcutter walked into the clearing. "What's this bush doing here?" he asked.
"I'm not a bush, I'm a tiger!" said Average Tiger.
"It talks!" exclaimed the woodcutter. "Those talking bushes are the worst kind. I'd better take it away before somebody gets hurt."
"No! Wait!" cried Average Tiger, as the woodcutter picked her up. But the woodcutter ignored her cries and carried the tiger away under his arm.
Average Tiger never finished eating the front door made from chocolates and Zec The Eagle remained trapped in the witch's cage.
Little Tiger stepped up, and approached the house made from crisps.
"I'll eat this whole house," said Little Tiger. "Just you watch!"
Little Tiger pulled off a corner of the front door of the house made from crisps. He gulped it down smiling, and went back for more.
And more.
And more.
After five or six platefuls, Little Tiger started to fidget uncomfortably on the spot.
He stopped eating crisps for a moment, then grabbed another forkful.
But before he could eat it, there came an almighty roar. A bottom burp louder than a rocket taking off, propelled Little Tiger into the sky.
"Aggghhhhhh!" cried Little Tiger. "I'm scared of heigh..."
Little Tiger was never seen again.
Little Tiger never finished eating the front door made from crisps and Zec The Eagle remained trapped in the witch's cage.
"That's it," said the witch. "I win. I get to keep Zec The Eagle."
"Not so fast," said Gesse. "There is still one front door to go. The front door of the house made from sweet potatoes. And I haven't had a turn yet.
"I don't have to give you a turn!" laughed the witch. "My game. My rules."
The woodcutter's voice carried through the forest. "I think you should give him a chance. It's only fair."
"Fine," said the witch. "But you saw what happened to the tigers. He won't last long."
"I'll be right back," said Gesse.
"What?" said the witch. "Where's your sense of impatience? I thought you wanted Zec The Eagle back."
Gesse ignored the witch and gathered a hefty pile of sticks. He came back to the clearing and started a small camp fire. Carefully, he broke off a piece of the door of the house made from sweet potatoes and toasted it over the fire. Once it had cooked and cooled just a little, he took a bite. He quickly devoured the whole piece.
Gesse sat down on a nearby log.
"You fail!" cackled the witch. "You were supposed to eat the whole door."
"I haven't finished," explained Gesse. "I am just waiting for my food to go down."
When Gesse's food had digested, he broke off another piece of the door made from sweet potatoes. Once more, he toasted his food over the fire and waited for it to cool just a little. He ate it at a leisurely pace then waited for it to digest.
Eventually, after several sittings, Gesse was down to the final piece of the door made from sweet potatoes. Carefully, he toasted it and allowed it to cool just a little. He finished his final course. Gesse had eaten the entire front door of the house made from sweet potatoes.
The witch stamped her foot angrily. "You must have tricked me!" she said. "I don't reward cheating!"
"I don't think so!" said a voice. It was the woodcutter. He walked back into the clearing, carrying his axe. "This little boy won fair and square. Now hand over Zec The Eagle or I will chop your broomstick in half."
The witch looked horrified. She grabbed her broomstick and placed it behind her. Then, huffing, she opened the door of the cage.
Gesse hurried over and grabbed Zec The Eagle, checking that his favourite toy was all right. Fortunately, Zec The Eagle was unharmed.
Gesse thanked the woodcutter, grabbed a quick souvenir, and hurried on to meet Kitz. It was starting to get dark.
When Gesse got to Kitz's house, his Master threw his arms around him.
"I was so worried!" cried Kitz. "You are very late."
As Gesse described his day, he could tell that Kitz didn't believe him. So he grabbed a napkin from his pocket.
"What's that?" asked Kitz.
Gesse unwrapped a doorknob made from pizzas. "Pudding!" he said.
Kitz almost fell off his chair.
The End
A Fairy Tale By: Sagesse L
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